some lovely pictures

Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Healing Power of Music

"I think music in itself is healing.
It's an explosive expression of humanity.
It's something we are all touched by.
No matter what culture we're from,
everyone loves music."
~ Billy Joel ~

I am so excited about this new phase in my life. I am moving to MI in the fall. I am going to be taking this giant leap into the unknown and trusting God the entire way. Yes, I am scared and I have my doubts every once in a while, but I keep focusing on my passion and my vision of music. All my life I have always loved music. It has always been a huge part of my life and it has truly helped and healed me. I also love working with children. So, in the fall I decided that being a music teacher for elementary school kids would be perfect. Today I just discovered a new career that would be another amazing thing... music therapist.
Music Therapist: Music Therapy is an established healthcare profession that uses music to address physical, emotional, cognitive, and social needs of individuals of all ages. Music therapy improves the quality of life for persons who are well and meets the needs of children and adults with disabilities or illnesses. Music therapy interventions can be designed to:
  • promote wellness

  • manage stress

  • alleviate pain

  • express feelings

  • enhance memory

  • improve communication

  • promote physical rehabilitation.

How cool does that sound? I would be someone who helped an individual heal using music.
I don't know... it just seems really needed in the school now a days. Children struggle with so many personal and family issues and I feel like schools can be doing so much more to help them out. I would love to do music therapy in the schools.
So, I'm definitely going to look into this more. I'm still going to get my BA in education but I might continue my education and go for a masters in counseling.
Hmmm... the possibilities...
I have a dream. I may not know exactly what my career is going to be, but I know it will involve music. I also know that I want to instill passion for music in others.
I am ready for this journey!

Bring it!

CITY OF NEVER

so this is one of the short stories from "The Book of Wonder" by Lord Dunsany. This was one of the books I got at Powells last weekend.
Its a bit long but if you have time you must read it. The writing is just so intriguing.

The child that played about the terraces and gardens in sight of the Surrey hills never knew that it was he that should come to the Ultimate City, never knew that he should see the Under Pits, the barbicans and the holy minarets of the mightiest city known. I think of him now as a child with a little red watering-can going about the gardens on a summer's day that lit the warm south country, his imagination delighted with all tales of quite little adventures, and all the while there was reserved for him that feat at which men wonder.

Looking in other directions, away from the Surrey hills, through all his infancy he saw that precipice that, wall above wall and mountain above mountain, stands at the edge of the World, and in perpetual twilight alone with the Moon and the Sun holds up the inconceivable City of Never. To read its streets he was destined; prophecy knew it. He had the magic halter, and a worn old rope it was; an old wayfaring woman had given it to him: it had the power to hold any animal whose race had never known captivity, such as the unicorn, the hippogriff Pegasus, dragons and wyverns; but with a lion, giraffe, camel or horse, it was useless.

How often we have seen that City of Never, that marvel of the Nations! Not when it is night in the World, and we can see no further than the stars; not when the sun is shining where we dwell, dazzling our eyes; but when the sun has set on some stormy days, all at once repentant at evening, and those glittering cliffs reveal themselves which we almost take to be clouds, and it is twilight with us as it is for ever with them, then on their gleaming summits we see those golden domes that overpeer the edges of the World and seem to dance with dignity and calm in that gentle light of evening that is Wonder's native haunt. Then does the City of Never, unvisited and afar, look long at her sister the World.

It had been prophecied that he should come there. They knew it when the pebbles were being made and before the isles of coral were given unto the sea. And thus the prophecy came unto fulfilment and passed into history, and so at length to Oblivion, out of which I drag it as it goes floating by, into which I shall one day tumble. The hippogriffs dance before dawn in the upper air; long before sunrise flashes upon our lawns they go to glitter in light that has not yet come to the World, and as the dawn works up from the ragged hills and the stars feel it they go slanting earthwards, till sunlight touches the tops of the tallest trees, and the hippogriffs alight with a rattle of quills and fold their wings and gallop and gambol away till they come to some prosperous, wealthy, detestable town, and they leap at once from the fields and soar away from the sight of it, pursued by the horrible smoke of it until they come again to the pure blue air.

He whom prophecy had named from of old to come to the City of Never, went down one midnight with his magic halter to a lake-side where the hippogriffs alighted at dawn, for the turf was soft there and they could gallop far before they came to a town, and there he waited hidden near their hoofmarks. And the stars paled a little and grew indistinct; but there was no other sign as yet of the dawn, when there appeared far up in the deeps of the night two little saffron specks, then four and five: it was the hippogriffs dancing and twirling around in the sun. Another flock joined hem, there were twelve of them now; they danced there, flashing their colours back to the sun, they descended in wide curves slowly; trees down on earth revealed against the sky, jet-black each delicate twig; a star disappeared from a cluster, now another; and dawn came on like music, like a new song. Ducks shot by to the lake from still dark fields of corn, far voices uttered, a colour grew upon water, and still the hippogriffs gloried in the light, revelling up in the sky; but when pigeons stirred on the branches and the first small bird was abroad, and little coots from the rushes ventured to peer about, then there came down on a sudden with a thunder of feathers the hippogriffs, and, as they landed from their celestial heights all bathed with the day's first sunlight, the man whose destiny it was as from of old to come to the City of Never, sprang up and caught the last with the magic halter. It plunged, but could not escape it, for the hippogriffs are of the uncaptured races, and magic has power over the magical, so the man mounted it, and it soared again for the heights whence it had come, as a wounded beast goes home. But when they came to the heights that venturous rider saw huge and fair to the left of him the destined City of Never, and he beheld the towers of Lel and Lek, Neerid and Akathooma, and the cliffs of Toldenarba a-glistening in the twilight like an alabaster statue of the Evening. Towards them he wrenched the halter, towards Toldenarba and the Under Pits; the wings of the hippogriff roared as the halter turned him. Of the Under Pits who shall tell? Their mystery is secret. It is held by some that they are the sources of night, and that darkness pours from them at evening upon the world; while others hint that knowledge of these might undo our civilization.

There watched him ceaselessly from the Under Pits those eyes whose duty it is; from further within and deeper, the bats what dwell there arose when they saw the surprise in the eyes; the sentinels on the bulwarks beheld that stream of bats and lifted up their spears as it were for war. Nevertheless when they perceived that that war for which they watched was not now come upon them, they lowered their spears and suffered him to enter, and he passed whirring through the earthward gateway. Even so he came, as foretold, to the City of Never perched upon Toldenarba, and saw late twilight on those pinnacles that know no other light. All the domes were of copper, but the spires on their summits were gold. Little steps of onyx ran all this way and that. With cobbled agates were its streets a glory. Through small square panes of rose-quartz the citizens looked from their houses. To them as they looked abroad the World far- off seemed happy. Clad though that city was in one robe always, in twilight, yet was its beauty worthy of even so lovely a wonder: city and twilight were both peerless but for each other. Built of a stone unknown in the world we tread were its bastions, quarried we known not where, but called by the gnomes abyx, it so flashed back to the twilight its glories, colour for colour, that none can say of them where their boundary is, and which the eternal twilight, and which the City of Never; they are the twin-born children, the fairest daughters of Wonder. Time had been there, but not to the domes that were made of copper, the rest he had left untouched, even he, the destroyer of cities, by what bribe I know not averted. Nevertheless they often wept in Never for change and passing away, mourning catastrophes in other worlds, and they built temples sometimes to ruined stars that had fallen flaming down from the Milky Way, giving them worship still when by us long since forgotten. Other temples they have—who knows to what divinities?

And he that was destined alone of men to come to the City of Never was well content to behold it as he trotted down its agate street, with the wings of his hippogriff furled, seeing at either side of him marvel on marvel of which even China is ignorant. Then as he neared the city's further rampart by which no inhabitant stirred, and looked in a direction to which no houses faced with any rose-pink windows, he suddenly saw far- off, dwarfing the mountains, an even greater city. Whether that city was built upon the twilight or whether it rose from the coasts of some other world he did not know. He saw it dominate the City of Never, and strove to reach it; but at this unmeasured home of unknown colossi the hippogriff shied frantically, and neither the magic halter nor anything that he did could make the monster face it. At last, from the City of Never's lonely outskirts where no inhabitants walked, the rider turned slowly earthward. He knew now why all the windows faced this way—the denizens of the twilight gazed at the world and not at a greater than them. Then from the last step of the earthward stairway, like lead past the Under Pits and down the glittering face of Toldenarba, down from the overshadowed glories of the gold-tipped City of Never and out of perpetual twilight, swooped the man on his winged monster: the wind that slept at the time leaped up like a dog at their onrush, it uttered a cry and ran past them. Down on the World it was morning; night was roaming away with his cloak trailed behind him, with mists turned over and over as he went, the orb was grey but it glittered, lights blinked surprisingly in early windows, forth over wet, dim fields went cows from their houses: even in this hour touched the fields again the feet of the hippogriff. And the moment that the man dismounted and took off his magic halter the hippogriff flew slanting away with a whirr, going back to some airy dancing-place of his people.

And he that surmounted glittering Toldenarba and came alone of men to the City of Never has his name and his fame among nations; but he and the people of that twilit city well know two things unguessed by other men, they that there is another city fairer than theirs, and he—a deed unaccomplished.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Some potentials!

So... as I am starting to understand the character of Mona Mills a bit more I have started to look around for my picks.

Then tonight ali suggested that we post our top 3 picks.
I feel like I should be rebellious and pick more but i'm not sure what I'm gonna do.
Right now I have my number one pick...
1) Zooey Dechanel
Since first reading about Mona, I have had Zooey in the back of my head. I know others have mentioned her as well and I think she would be perfect.
2) Emily Blunt
I fell in love with this actress while watching her brilliant acting in "The Devil Wears Prada." I don't know... I just think she could pull it off.
3) Mary Elizabeth Winstead
I'm not gonna lie... I really loved the movie Sky High. I think she would make a fun Mona
4) bonus number... i'm leaving this spot open for an unknown actress.
but really, it's late and I can't think of anyone else. I will most likely add more later.

Penguins are our favorite fish

So today has been a roller-coaster of emotions. I must say though, I would have never though that God would use my crazy viking hat wearing east coast sister to help me out. Becca- Thank you so much for allowing me to vent to you today. Your friendship truly is amazing... and random... but I would have it any other way.
We had an amazing conversation earlier and we decided to make a blog about it. I told her she could post cause I wasn't in the mood but I decided to add this little bit to it.
I hope that you will be encouraged by this. God works in mysterious ways and I'm so glad that he does.

so... even though Becca posted a blog on our conversation... I thought I would post her blog here too.

So the other day we were asked to write SGP milestones that have affected us. The following conversation is between Raquel and I-a friendship that never would have happened had it not been for Southern Gothic Productions. This is our milestone. It's one of many, but one that we are both so grateful for. I know it's a little long, but I think that's okay. I hope whoever reads this knows how awesome it is to find a friendship like this, and the amazing thing is, there are so many more of them that have been formed because of SGP. It's an amazing company to support and it has blessed us with amazing people in return.


6:48pm
Rebecca
hey there darling'
6:48pm
Raquel
hey
6:49pm
Rebecca
how ya doing?
6:49pm
Raquel
i've been better
6:50pm
Rebecca
i know.
i'm sorry.
6:50pm
Raquel
its fine... its just a lot of stuff been building up and today I just feel like the devil decided to completely attack me
its just frustrating
i know its not that big of a deal but I just feel horrible about everything
6:52pm
Rebecca
i know. and it is a big deal. you have the right to be upset. it's okay to. you can vent. fell free. i'm here.
6:52pm
Raquel
thanks
6:53pm
Raquel
I have a bad habit of building up walls and shutting my family out when I am going through hard times
and I hate it cause my family is awesome... I love them and they are amazing. Isolating myself is like my huge weakness and so these past couple of months have been so hard on them
6:57pm
Raquel
I had this plan to go to school in portland and continue working at the school here but when GOd shut that door, it took him a while to reveal this MI door. I have no patience so during that waiting period, I struggled a lot
6:57pm
Rebecca
wow, i feel like that's me talking. i have the same problem. i put on the brave face and keep the world out. i'm trying to break those walls, but i know it's so hard.
6:57pm
Raquel
sorry, I'm totally taking your offer up for venting... let me know if I should back off a bit
6:57pm
Rebecca
you are fine. i promise.
6:58pm
Raquel
yeah... I totally put on the brave face and my grin but it gets exhausting really fast
its like... I trust God and I strive to have that joy... but I feel like I have to always be happy around everyone
6:59pm
Rebecca
yea, i've learned that's cause it's not always supposed to be there. sometimes you have to feel low to get back up again
6:59pm
Raquel
its true... thats one of the things GOd has been teaching me. How he leads us through the dessert to build us back up again and make us stronger
I am so glad he allowed me to go through all that I did these past months but at the same time I feel like I hurt my family so much... I just want to try and fix it
7:01pm
Rebecca
God teaches us every day. He's making you so strong and so brave-i mean, you're moving to MI. He's instilling that knowledge that you can do this in you.
7:02pm
Rebecca
well just don't be too hard on what you should've done in the past, just try and build a better tomorrow with them. i know you can.
7:02pm
Raquel
yeah... and since he told me about my 3 layer funfetti cake awaiting me in MI, I have been learning so much about myself and God... and I know him and I both are gonna have an amazing journey together.
keep moving forward right?
7:03pm
Rebecca
yep, it's going to be the best cake you've ever had. i guarantee it.
7:04pm
Raquel
haha... its like I've been preaching that to so many people but haven't been listening to those words until now
RAQUEL pay attention to your own words!!! Keep moving forward!
(me, giving myself a talk)
7:04pm
Rebecca
i know how that is. it's like i said in a past blog, i'm everyone's cheerleader and somewhere along the way, i forgot to be my own
7:05pm
Raquel
seriously...
could we be anymore similar?
haha
7:05pm
Rebecca
i don't know. i'm a little freaked out about how similar we are right now haha
7:05pm
Raquel
haha... me too.
7:06pm
Rebecca
God is great. He brought our friendship together.
7:06pm
Raquel
its so true
7:07pm
Raquel
I am so thankful for our friendship. One of the most random friendships ever!
7:07pm
Rebecca
i know right? it's kinda shocking. but awesome.
7:07pm
Raquel
its true...
7:12pm
Rebecca
you need to go watch the sound of music. watch the vantraps get out of austria.
7:13pm
Raquel
oh, wow... that was totally going to be my plan
7:13pm
Rebecca
no? oh wow.
7:13pm
Raquel
weird. SOund of Music is my medicine
7:14pm
Rebecca
we are basically the same person
7:14pm
Raquel
did you ever watch Boy Meets WOrld? random question but I have a point...
7:14pm
Rebecca
did i ever watch boy meets world? that was my show haha
7:15pm
Raquel
same here... I can basically quote the whole series. Ok so you probably know this episode...
the one with the fiance game and Rachel and Eric are partners
7:15pm
Rebecca
yes.
7:16pm
Raquel
and Feeny goes "what is his favorite fish" and rachel goes "Penguins" and feeny is like "no i don't think you understood the question" and eric yells "BAM"
showing off that he did indeed write penguin and proceeds to say "its like we have one brain"
7:17pm
Rebecca
that's us. penguins are our favorite fish
7:17pm
Raquel
anyways... your its like we're the same person reminded me of that
haha
you should add that to the blog...
7:18pm
Rebecca
so am

how fast a day can get ruined...

So here am I again, just hours since my last post. I'm an idiot.
I went to print off my tickets for "Wicked" during my lunch break and turns out, it was last Friday not tonight. I had written down the wrong date. I can't get a refund, I can't exchange them. I had bought 3 tickets, 2 for me and my sister, and one for our friend. $215 wasted.
I feel like the ultimate failure. Not just because of being an idiot and not paying attention to the dates, but a failure as a sister.
(This is the part where I am just going to vent as I cry my eyes out... they are already swollen. As I was reading others blogs today there seemed to be a common theme of this freedom and trust that we all have in each other to just express ourselves and be vulnerable as we post. I am going to do that right now)
So, in the past couple of months have been really hard. My sister and I are 6 years apart but she is my best friend. I have always been there for her, except for these past couple of months. I had been struggling so much on what I was suppose to do in the fall, and feeling far from God, and feeling stressed at work, and just everything that I pushed her and my family away. It wasn't until recently when I wrote that post about my epiphany on MI that I finally started to connect with my sister again.
I had bought the tickets for Christmas and was so thankful that I did cause this was going to be our night. This night that I set aside to just spoil her and talk to her and show her why I love musicals. SHe has been looking forward to this since Dec, I have been looking forward to this since December. But I'm a failure.
I feel stuck.
I know I'm suppse to move to MI. I know that my parents and friends approve of this move. I know that my guilt of didtching my sister shouldn't hold me back but it is.
I know that I shouldn't be feeling like this but I am. I don't know what to do. I know that there are going to be other nights and other moments and opportunities for us to hang out before I leave, but tonight was suppose to be our fresh start.
Yes, I can still take her out on a date night and I most likely will but I feel like I have dissapointed her to the extreme.
Any moment now she is going to come into my classoom like she always does and hopefully I will have this post finished. But all day I have gotten texts from her saying how horrible and long her day was. All day I have been getting texts about how the only thing that is getting her thorugh is "wicked". How do I tell her?
I am such an idiot.
I deserve a time out.
I somehow need to figure this out.
I most likely wont be in the chat room today.
I need to fight this depression I feel coming on.

Wish me luck.

A "Wicked" Friday


So tonight is the night!!!! If you have read my previous blogs about my love for music, musicals, theater, ect., then you can probablyunderstand how excited I am about tonight. I saw "Wicked" 2 years ago when I was in TX doing an internship there. It left me speechless. If you have never heard of the play... here, educate yourselves



If you have heard or seen the play then you know how glorious and stupendous it is. My sister has never seen it and I had bought her tickets for chirstmas so I am just super excited to share this experience with her.


I will definitely post pictures tomorrow. I hope you are all having a tremendous friday!


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

And then I don't feel so bad...


So, i'm not gonna lie, after reading Sue's blog about her leg, I was feeling a little whoosy. I don't do needles, x-rays, blood, nothing really. I started to laugh cause I immediately started to sing "my favorite things" and it helped. So this blog is dedicated to Sue in hoping that if you are feeling sad or sore, you can think of your favorite things!

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into Springs
These are a few of my favorite things



When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.