My SGP T-Shirt!!!

What a great afternoon...
I came home from a very LONG day at work and saw a beautiful envelope on my doorstep.
I got one of my shirts in the mail today! I'm so excited :)
I'm definitely gonna be wearing it all the time starting tonight at orchestra!
the end

Can't Touch This...

So, the very first night that I was in VA, I was hanging out with my friends and it was extremely late. I was talking on the phone with some of my wednesday night girls and my "brothers" started to play "Can't Touch This" on my laptop. I had no idea that they were actually making a video until later but I thought I would share this with you. Well, actually I wasn't planning on sharing it but Liz convinced me to.
Try not to laugh too hard... oh and halfway through, I definitely tripped on a duffel bag. It was late... ok.
P.S. Vicki just started vlogging and I think you all should go to her blog... the end
veeceekay.blogspot.com

easter cream puffs

Happy Easter everyone!

So, tonight I felt like being creative and made some cream puffs for our easter desert... completely from scratch. Not gonna lie, they turned out sensational.
I thought I would share a pic.

"What will my future be? I wonder..."

"What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what's the matter with me?
I've always longed for adventure
To do the things I've never dared
And here I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared?"

I feel like I'm turning into such a flake... but am I really? Or am I just being smart and keeping all my options open for the fall. I haven't really committed to anything yet so I can't technically be a flake. But I'm realizing that there are other doors being open for the fall that I should consider... doors that aren't necessarily MI.
Confused? Let me explain.
So, yes... in the past months I have changed my plans for the fall and my choices for a career a lot. When I first had my epiphany about moving to MI, I was so excited about the thought of just being out on my own, taking that leap, getting that 3 layer funfetti cake from God, it wasn't necessarily so much about the idea of MI itself. Since then, several other opportunities have come up to truly pursue a career in music. Weather or not I go into music therapy or sound mixing, just having the opportunity to be involved in music.
Earlier, I wrote about taking that leap and living life without regrets... and not just doing things because I feel obligated by others to do something.
Well, I am considering all the doors now. I don't want to regret moving to MI when another door is presenting itself. A door that has been there for the past 6 months that I refused to see only until recently. That door is moving to L.A.
I was scared to write this blog. I don't know who is going to be reading this but I fell like I owe people an apology for being flaky and constantly changing my plans. But then, do I really need to apologize for that?
I know who I am. I am a passionate person and when I commit to things, I commit to things 100%. I know who I am in my faith, I know what my passion is. And I know that I can't please everyone. The only two people that I should please is God and myself. And I know that God has my back cause we're buds.
But anyways, back to the whole possibly not moving to MI...
I had originally wanted to go there because they had an amazing music educators program. Then when I realized that I really didn't want to go into teaching, I found out they also offered music therapy. Well last week I found out that they will no longer be accepting applicants for that program after this summer. My plan was to do community college in Lansing for the first year then transfer to MSU. I'm still waiting to hear back if I got admitted or not but if I don't get admitted, I really don't see the point in moving all the way over there just to do a community college when I can go somewhere else.
So, I'm not committing to anything yet, and I'm not saying that I'm moving to MI or CA or anywhere yet for that matter.
Basically I just wanted to let you all know the latest update so that if I ended up looking more into L.A., it wouldn't be a complete surprise.
so, go ahead and criticize or encourage... to be honest I really just had to be honest and let y'all know.
Like I said, I feel like I'm turning into a flake and into an unreliable person... but at the same time, I feel like because I'm considering all my options, I'm growing as an individual and being smart about this move, wherever it may be.

First day success!

Man, what a great Monday! Today I started my after school program that has been in the works for a while and I couldn't have gone any better. God just totally brought everything together last minute and all the students seemed to really enjoy themselves. For those of you who didn't know, I have been trying to start an after school program at the school that I work at to give students the opportunity to get involve in the arts and learn a different language. I have been working with several community organizations and members and finally got everything approved to start today.
We had about 30 students between the ages of 6-10 stay after school for art and spanish lessons. I taught the spanish lessons and it was amazing! Next week we are hoping to get a few more when we start a guitar class as well.
These kids were just so excited and it was so neat to see them wanting to learn spanish and taking their art class.
I am just so humbled by everyone who has helped me out and made this vision a reality. I truly believe that these student's lives will be impacted by this. One of the main reasons I wanted to do something like this was because our town is extremely small and kids get bored. I wanted to provide an outlet for them to invest their time in.
So yeah, I also hope and pray that this would leave a mark, a legacy, in the school since this is my last time teaching. I want to make sure I took full advantage of what God gave me. Even though I disliked most days, I still try to do everything 100%. I want to make sure that I truly do live life to the fullest and end this this with a bang! Again, it was a great learning experience but teaching is definitely not for me and I know that God has great plans ahead.
So, I will definitely be updating as this program continues. Its only gonna be 8 weeks long but hopefully it create a good foundation for next year.
Hope you all had a great monday!

"Wicked" take two

So, last night I finally had the opportunity to take my sister to see "Wicked." If you didn't hear about the craziness that happened a couple of weeks ago, then read my other blog but basically I had bought tickets for me and my sis to go see "Wicked" and I wrote the date wrong and missed it.
But, while in VA, I got a call back from a lady that works in the box office and she said she felt bad about everything that happened and gave me her discount code so I could buy tickets for another show if I wanted to. So, I bought these amazing seats for like $30 dollars and went last night!
It was so great seeing it again! And it was even more exciting to share that experience with my sis. It was her first broadway experience. She LOVED it. And we also had a chance to talk and really discuss how her feelings towards me moving and I got to update her on my life and it was just a really perfect night.
So, thank you God for giving me that second opportunity to go.

vulnerable (I can go the distance)

definition: open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.

I'm going to be vulnerable with you guys right now. I just kind of feel like I need to write out everything thats been going on in my life the past couple of weeks and even though its more for me, I am writing this in a public place for others to view. SO this might be long so bear with me if you are willing to listen.
So, these past couple of weeks have been crazy. I have felt like a human roller-coaster going up and down with trying to figure out what I'm suppose to be doing in life. For the past year I had my mind set on being a teacher. My mom has been a teacher my whole life and I always hated the idea but then when I started doing it, I enjoyed the challenge of it. But I got tired of it really fast. I realized it wasn't my passion but I kept doing it cause it was a job and I knew that there must be a reason why God opened that door for teaching. Then this year I took a class, music in elementary education. That class made me rediscover my joy and passion for music. Then through that class, I was invited to join orchestra. I have never been so happy as I have been these past 6 months. I love being around music, I love to play it, I love to hear it, I love everything about it. It was the one thing that was getting me through this hard year of work.
Now, the crazy thing is, when I decided to take this leap and move to MI, I was still planning on pursuing teaching. I don't know why, but I never gave any thought of the idea of having music more in my profession.
But then I discovered the idea of music therapy. I love that idea, I really do... but I still was trying to convince myself of the whole counseling aspect of it. I love doing ministry and helping people, don't get me wrong, but I still loved the music part of it more. Having grown up in a christian home and being a christian myself, I was convinced that the only way to really please God was to be directly helping others.
So, then... there I was, trying to make this other idea of a career work so that I could still please others in my career. Yes, I thought I was tring to please God but I was really just worried about what others would think if I didn't do teaching.
So to think that the only way I could please God was to try and force myself into ministry and teaching.
Biggest lie ever!
God gives us all certain passions. I don't need to be a teacher to be a "good christian". I just need to live life to the fullest and make sure that I am giving God my all in whatever I do. Well God gave me a passion for music and huge heart for others. I realized how much music has a healing power and how much it helped me. I realized that I could go into any music profession and somehow still minister to others.
So, while I was in VA, Liz and I talked a lot! She explained her career to me and her passion for music and we just really connected. I realized how much I love the idea of doing sound mixing and recording.
(this is the part where I am open to moral attack and criticism for constantly changing my mind in what I want to do)
I spent several days researching and talking to Liz and Geoh about what they do and got really excited about it. I mean, who's to say that by orchestrating a certain piece of music... someone won't pick it up, listen to it and have that very song get them through the day.
That to me sounds like the most amazing way to reach others. And you know what? I think that is exactly what God wants from us. He wants us to give him our very best, he wants our passions, he wants it all. Well music is my life, its my all. If I want to give God my all, then he's gonna get my heart for music.
Live life with no regrets. Thats what I keep telling myself. Failing is amazing. By failing I learn to get back up again. I wont let my fire go out. I am going to continue this journey of finding my true purpose and I'm gonna be holding on to God's hand the entire way. I will get that 3 layer fun fetti cake. (see "Drifter" blog if you are confused by funfetti statement)
So, I really haven't told anyone about my new revelation. You all are basically the first to know. I few know. So, even though a part of me feels like the biggest flake and loser, the other part of my is telling that side to shut up because I am going to continue on this journey with no regrets. There is a reason why all of this is happening in this transitional time of my life. Its the perfect time for me to make these discoveries.
So I feel the need to end this blog with some lyrics from a song from Hercules

"I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star
I can go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance"

So, I'm gonna continue this journey cause I know every mile with be worth my while and I'm so glad that God has placed certain people in my life to help remind me.

So... yes, this is where I am at in my life right now.
the end