A Drifter

ok, so this blog is really just a way for me to write out everything that happened this past weekend... you don't have to read it if you don't want.
So, Saturday turned out to be quite the random evening. I went to this birthday party at this old Masonic Lodge that had been converted into this hotel and they were celebrating some anniversary there. It was really random but fun. I decided to spend the night at my friends house last minute cause it started to snow really hard and didn't feel like driving back home too late. Anyways, I got to my friends house around 10:00 and we were just talking about how I had just found out I had gotten accepted to one of the colleges in Portland.
Side note- For the past couple of months I have been struggling on what God wants me to do in the fall. I have finished my AA and know what I want to do (be a music teacher), I just haven't been sure how to do it. I applied to a few colleges in Portland and one in Michigan. I applied to Michigan because 2 of my best friends live there and I really enjoyed the area. Long story, but yeah, I have just been feeling like a drifter almost. I have been feeling like I'm floating around, not really clinging on to the right things, not clinging on to God. I don't know if you believe in God or not but I do, and I know that when I find myself drifting away from him, I get confused. I have been almost trying to plan my future on my own. When really, I just can't.
Anyways, that was my side note...
So, we were talking about getting into this college and my friend asked me how I felt about it. I realized, I really didn't want to go there, in fact, I really didn't see myself going to school in Portland. I love Portland, but I feel like for the longest time, I have been settling with convinience... I haven't been taking that giant leap. Yes, I have been taking chances with work and this trip to Costa Rica, but I never really taken that giant leap of faith. The way I saw was God has, on several occations, baked this giant 3 layer cake for me... but I have been settling for the cupcakes cause the 3 layer giant cake is too hard to get. So, my friend asked me the typical question: If money wasn't an option, where would you go?
My answer: Michigan.
I did not expect that word to come out of my mouth but as soon as I said it, I felt such peace and confirmation that this was it, this giant leap that I need to take. I got really excited. Then, my friend, who by the way is also my mentor, just flat out told me "go to Michigan". It was right there when she said those words that I realized I need to go. I feel like this is a journey that God is allowing me to have to grow closer to him and grow in my walk spiritually and just to grow as a person. Michgan is my 3 layer cake. It's not going to be easy, but the reward is going to be worth it.
So, then I went to church yesterady morning and my pastor was talking about a drifter and how sometimes people can drift away from God. I just started to laugh. How much more of a confirmation did I need? That pretty much sealed the deal. It was like God was saying "Hey, Raquel? I know you have felt like you have been drifting, but I have been here the whole time. You ready to talk my hand and take this leap with me?"
I'm ready!
I talked to my parents last night. I talked to one of my friends last night.
So far everything is pointing towards a move to Michigan in the fall.
Random... yes, but at the same time it really isn't.
I love where I live now, but I am ready to go out on my own.
I am ready to be a teacher.
I am ready to be a light in the schools.
I am ready to make a difference in a child's life.
I am ready to trust.
I'm ready to finally work hard and get God's great 3 layer cake!